Woozle Hypertwin
 Durham, NC,  last edited: Tue, 29 May 2018 10:26:00 -0400  
This arrived in our in-box this morning, and I just had to post it.

Subject: Tiскеt#755701883: [<email address redacted>] 29.05.2018 02:32:03 Attention

Do not pay attention on my illiteracy, I am  from Romania.We uploaded the malicious program on your OS.Since that moment I thiefted all confidential information from your OS. Withal I received slightly more compromising.The most interesting evidence which I have- its a video with your self-abusing.I adjusted malware on a porn web site and then you loaded it. As soon as you chose the video and tapped on a play, my virus at once downloaded on your system.

After loading, your camera shoot the record with you wanking,  moreover software captured precisely the porn video you watched. In next few days my malicious software collected all your social media and email contacts.

If you want to destroy the records- transfer me 330 usd in Bitcoins.
I provide you my Bitcoin wallet address - 13JmGguKtpikbWrvwGXTznPpH7mZfSYZyi  

You have 30 h. to go after reading. If I get transaction I will erase the video forever. Differently I will send the video to all your colleagues and friends

I can imagine that if you just happened to have done the things described (wanked in front of your laptop and also visited a porn site) recently, you might be all OMG THEY KNOW EVERYTHING, THIS MUST BE REAL!

...but even then, I kind of find it hard to imagine feeling threatened by that, in this day and age. A lot of people wank in front of their laptops and visit porn sites; so what? "Oh no, my co-workers will find out that I do something a lot of people do, and that I've been targeted by a harasser, and they will see some unflattering pictures of me!" Unless you work in someplace absolutely terrible, I'd think you'd get sympathy from this.

Also, the fact that they don't name any of these "co-workers" kind of suggests that they have no idea who your co-workers actually are.

Or where you work.

Or pretty much anything, really, because it's almost certainly a mass-mailing and they're just throwing spam against the wall until something sticks.

P.S. Thanks, Capitalism!